Uganda: Mothers defy anti-gay law to support children

Representative Image (AI-generated)

In a country where identifying as gay can result in life imprisonment, and “aggravated homosexuality” carries the death penalty, some parents are defying the law and society to stand by their queer children, offering support where the Ugandan state offers only punishment.Among them is Mama Joseph, a mother from central Uganda, whose son came out as gay at a time when being openly gay could carry life-threatening consequences.

‘Very African and very queer’ ― challenging the myth of ‘imported queerness’:

Her voice doesn’t quiver. For her, the connection between queerness and African identity is not contradictory. She’s never left Uganda. Neither has her son.“People say queerness is un-African, but I know that’s not true. I didn’t raise my child on foreign TV, where some claim he could’ve ‘learned’ to be gay,” she told DW. “He did not go to boarding school, where others think such things happen. I raised him right here, very African and he is very queer.”Her defiant tone challenges a widespread belief in Uganda that homosexuality is a Western import.“So, when people judge us, I ask myself, what exactly do they mean by ‘un-African’? This journey hasn’t been easy,” she said. “Being an African mother to a queer child comes with pain, with isolation. But I’m proud of my son.”She added that some relatives have threatened her, and neighbors have avoided her.

Choosing love over fear in Ugandan homes:

In living rooms across the east African country, some parents have chosen love over fear, including Mama Arthur, who shared her path to understanding with DW.“When a child opens up about their sexuality, it’s not easy at first. For many of us parents, the beginning is the hardest. But as time goes on, you start to walk that journey together and you get to know your child on a deeper level, and they get closer to you.”Her openness represents a shift among some Ugandan families, where a new generation of parents is rejecting traditional dogma in favor of closeness and honesty.“I’ve always tried to guide my child, to show them what’s good and what’s not. And because I created that space, they’re very open with me,” she said. “People often judge queer children harshly, but they miss out on the goodness in them. These are wonderful children.”The mothers’ advocacy doesn’t stop at home. They speak out in public forums and community gatherings, even as doing so puts them at odds with neighbors, churches, and sometimes the extended family.Mama Arthur’s son came out to her in 2021. At first, she was confused and afraid, but over time, she chose to walk with him.“Because I created that space, my child became more open. I got to know him better,” she told DW.When law becomes a weapon: Understanding Uganda’s crackdownUgandan President Yoweri Museveni signed the act into law on May 26, 2023, despite global condemnation.The law’s enforcement has triggered waves of arrests, mob violence and evictions, with dozens of LGBTQ+ Ugandans fleeing to neighboring countries like Kenya, or going into hiding.Yet amid this repression, courageous parents are breaking cultural and religious norms to stand with their children in private living rooms and whispered conversations. Mothers like Mamas Arthur and Joseph are resisting not with placards or protests, but with love.

South African mothers: same struggle, different laws:

Further south, in South Africa, a country where LGBTQ+ rights are legally protected, but social stigma remains, similar stories are emerging.Mama Thandi, a longtime advocate and caregiver to queer youth, has spent more than a decade offering support to those rejected by their families.“I am encouraging parents to love their children so that they can teach the society how to love them,” she told DW.“Because even though South Africa is a progressive country, we have a whole lot of queer people who are being raped, killed brutally, and some are being disowned by their parents, some commit suicide, some have issues of mental health,” she said, adding that the contradiction in society is hard to ignore.“The churches will have sessions where they pray for all these ills in society, yet they are perpetuating them through homophobia,” Mama Thandi said.Mothers under fire: What happened after the arrestsThree other Ugandan mothers — Mama Rihanna, Mama Joshua, and Mama Hajjat — faced intense public backlash after their children were arrested in high-profile anti-LGBTQ+ cases in 2016 and 2022.Their families were thrust into the national spotlight as media outlets published names, faces and accusations — forcing each woman to navigate the fallout alone.One sold her only cow to pay legal fees, another fled her home after facing hostility from neighbors, and the third was forced to hide her daughter from an abusive spouse.In each case, their safety, dignity, and livelihoods were put at risk.Despite the trauma, the mothers have remained unshaken in their support.“Sexuality doesn’t matter,” said Mama Hajjat, who said even her once-hardened husband began to change after witnessing their daughter’s strength.For Mama Joshua, the issue cuts deeper. “Our kids are the easiest target,” she said, accusing the government of using LGBTQ+ people as scapegoats to mask governance failures.The mothers interviewed by DW at a documentary screening at Cheche Bookstore and Cafe in the Kenyan capital, Nairobi, are part of queer support networks linked to Human Rights Watch and PFLAG-Uganda, under Chapter Four’s Diversity, Equity and Inclusion program.

Uganda’s tightening grip draws global criticism:

According to Human Rights Watch, reports of incidents involving violence and discrimination against LGBTQ+ people in Uganda have surged since the law’s enactment.UN High Commissioner for Human Rights Volker Turk last year called for the law to be repealed. “Criminalization of and application of the death penalty to consensual same-sex relations are contrary to Uganda’s international human rights treaty obligations,” Turk said in the statement. Yet the government has remained defiant. In court, the state has defended the legislation as a safeguard of “African values.”Critics, however, say it has deepened a climate of fear that pushes LGBTQ+ Ugandans further into the margins and leaves their families torn between loyalty and survival.Uganda’s law continues to draw international condemnation, with some donor nations reconsidering development aid.But for mothers like Mama Joseph, international headlines mean little if families remain silent.“I won’t bury my child because of shame,” she said. “We’ve buried too many already.”As the second anniversary of the law approaches, these women are quietly rewriting Uganda’s story one child at a time, one act of defiant love at a time. They say it’s not a revolution of crowds but a revolution of mothers.